Bittersweet ...

This year, the Christmas holidays are bittersweet. It will probably be the last Christmas I spend with my daughter for awhile. She is getting ready to leave the nest and move away from here.

Now is when the words I have spoken lo these many years are coming back to haunt me. What words? These:

The job of being a parent is to give your kids a solid foundation so when it is time for them to leave, they do. 

Our kids are not our property, nor are they meant to be just like us. They are here to grow, learn and become what they are meant to be.

That means eventually, they leave, and always before we think they are ready. Like now...

There is a big part of me that is so excited to see her begin her life. She is doing this on her own, with much planning and on her own terms. I am excited to see what she will bring to the table, what directions she chooses and where she lands. She is smart, resourceful, creative and ready to take on the world.

But part of me thinks about the fact that just today at the dentist's office I had to hold her hand while they gave her the Novocain shot. Is she really ready to move away from the comfort of her mama's covering?

Or is it me that is not ready to let her go?

I too am ready to move forward with my life, ready to get out of this popsicle stand. When she goes, there is nothing left for me here. I am beginning to loathe my job. I don't want to be where my ex and his new family is. I do want to go where my heart now is, and that is far from here.

So on this bittersweet holiday, I wish all of you well. I wish all of you new dreams and plans for the new year. I wish for all of you to hold tight to your kids but be ready to let go when it is time, to loosen that hold just enough for those first tentative steps off the edge of the nest. But be ready with welcoming arms if they teeter backwards...

Happy Holidays...

 

 

The Zen of Knitting

Knitting. Taking spun fiber and turning it into cloth using needles. This is a centuries old process that has been both a vocation and an avocation. It has been taught through apprenticeships and passed down by grandmothers. It was once a primarily male undertaking, then a primarily female undertaking and now is shared by both with the number of men knitting increasing daily.

I was taught by my grandmother at the age of 8 because it was a “skill every lady should have”. My mother filled in my education as she was an avid knitter until her arthritis made it difficult for her to continue. My sister has been a professional knitter, kitting projects for folks through a local yarn shop. My family has a history of knitters so it is not surprising that my daughter is now learning to knit as well.

Knitting has come back into the spotlight as an art form that all kinds of people are doing. Celebrities, housewives, teens, grannies and even truck drivers are knitting.

So what is it about this simple craft that has captured so many imaginations? What is it about sitting down with a skein of yarn and some needles that has grabbed so many peoples attention?

I was thinking about this last night as I was sitting and working on a project. I could feel myself relaxing as I got into the act of knitting. The clicking of the needles, the feel of the yarn sliding through my fingers, the rhythm of my hands moving back and forth, the fingers making subtle movements as I created stitch after stitch.

With each movement I could feel myself relax, the cares and stresses of the day melting away as each stitch moved from left needle to right.

I get a profound sense of peace while I am knitting. It is Zen for me. It separates me from the negativity of life and propels me to a calm, peaceful place. I get to think about the person I am making the project for, thinking about what they might be doing at that moment, hoping they will like what I have made and how they may look wearing it. It is one of the ways I show my love for that person.

If I am knitting for charity, I try to put a good thought into the garment. I try to imbue every stitch with good wishes and hope and a knowledge that someone, somewhere cares. There is so much loneliness and hopelessness in the world today that it is one very small way to shine a light where there is darkness.

Most knitters that I know are passionate people who are passionate about their craft. They find ways to have knitting in their lives whether it is on the subway, the doctor’s office or during a meeting. The yarn and needles are never far away. These folks are also always ready to lend a hand. They knit for Cancer patients, preemies, homeless people and soldiers. They are always there with a suggestion; help with a pattern or to just encourage each other to tackle that project that seems too hard. It is a warm helpful community and I am glad to be a small part of it.

Go find yourself something to be passionate about, something to take you to that zone, that Zen place. See if it doesn’t make your life and the life of those you touch better. Then of course, pass it on…

Knitting is saving my sanity!

This is going to be a place for all things knitting. For my love of yarn, needles, patterns and colors just to name a few.

I will post finished objects, works in progress and musings and other things that come to mind.

Here is the latest finished object made for a friend who deserves it: