Valentine’s Day Blues Shawl

Or how I fought off the it’s  Valentine’s Day, I’m all alone again blues…

So, my sweetie was in New York on a business trip and I was all alone on Valentine’s Day this year. I decided that instead of feeling bad I was going to do something new and fun and for myself. Thus was born the following project.

I have never made a shawl before, being intimidated by the triangular shape, lace and many other daunting looking things that make up a shawl. I had been looking for years for just the right pattern to try out and on that February 13th, found the one I wanted to try. It is a simple triangle shape with no lace and no complicated pattern repeats. It’s a shawlette (meaning a small shawl) and I had some yarn I thought would look good in the pattern. I had the needles and so thought what the heck.

The pattern is called Boneyard and I found it here. Looked simple and can be made in pretty much any type of yarn with a simple needle size adjustment.  So, on the evening of February 13, 2010 I cast on the first 5 stitches.

Here was my progress by the end of Valentine’s Day:

I made good progress and it was a good distraction from feeling lonely on that day.

I kept it up, worked on it in my spare time at night after work. I still wasn’t sure what I was really doing with the triangle shape and about two more repeats I figured out I was knitting it top down! Now I got it! It made sense to me at last. The fancy borders that have made me drool but have stopped me cold from trying those lacy shawls are done last!

So I kept going, being encouraged and urged on by my knitting friends and compadres on Plurk. Then Friday I hit a wall of depression. I hadn’t hit this kind of depression in years, the kind where you are afraid to say anything because they may make you go “see someone”. I haven’t felt so alone in a very long time. This is the kind of depression that is robbing me of sleep and the ability to eat. The one person I needed the most was completely out of reach with no way to ask for help and support. This is the kind of depression that I worry about because it is paralyzing.

But sitting on the couch next to me, buried under the box of Kleenex was my knitting. My shawl that I had been diligently working on all week. I really didn’t feel like doing it but I picked it up. Might as well do something other than stare at the TV, the computer screen and weep.

As I began to settle into the rhythm of the needles clicking and the yarn slipping through my fingers, I began to feel a small bit of peace. I felt my breathing slow down and my heart beat become regular. My mind was able to relax and focus on the patterns and colors that were emerging as I knit. I thought about my mother and how it comforted me to see her knit and now knew why. I’m sure she got the same sense of peace that I do. Mom’s birthday is coming up this week and I still miss her so much. Knitting connects me to her, I can feel her hands on my shoulders as I learn new things.

So I threw myself into this shawl and knit until late in the evening. I had one eye on the Olympics and the computer and one eye on the needles. I made significant progress and thought to myself, I can finish this tomorrow if I work on it all day.

Sleep was fitful and I found myself up and checking the phone at 4:50 am. Still no messages. I got up thinking how am I going to get through another day. I was out of coffee so I fed the cat, made some instant and settled down to knit. Finally heard from the sweetie only to hear that I wouldn’t be hearing his voice for awhile longer. I walked up to the store, got some real coffee, bagels and of course, cat food.

Then I sat down with my fresh coffee, and began to knit. I knit through out the morning and got to the point where it was time to bind off. I decided to try something else new and looked up the picot bind off technique. I thought what the heck, and started to bind off using this new technique. Turns out it was easy and by lunch time, I was half way through. I should have counted the final stitches to see how many there actually were.

After lunch I kept going and low and behold, I finished it! I actually felt excited and had to post to my Plurk friends that I finally completed it! Of course, I took pictures and posted those too.

So, the depression is still here and still pretty crippling. Don’t know how I’m going to do work tomorrow, but I suppose I will. One minute at a time as they say.

But the whole point of this is that I have one tool in my basket. My knitting; just some yarn and a couple of sticks. It let me be inside my skin while taking me away to a calmer place. To a place where it didn’t matter what I look like, whether I do or say the right things, whether I am a good person or worth the time. It was just about the work, just about the process of yarning over and slipping the stitches from one needle to the next and watching the yarn turn into something beautiful and useful. It doesn’t matter that at the moment I feel like I am neither…

Technorati Tags: heartsapocolypse,knitting,shawl,depression,mother,despair,broken hearted

Red Shawl in Progress

Well, I left the purple shawl project I posted on here at work over the long weekend. I needed something to knit so I cast on this new one. It's the same pattern as the other but I am using a totally different yarn and colorway. The yarn is Garden Yarn from Deborah Norville's new line and it is made of 100% Dralon Microfiber. It looks like cotton and feels divine! It has nice stitch definition and beautiful drape. I will be using this again.

 Here is the beginning:

Of course, Kes had to help:

And here it is Monday afternoon:

Stitch detail. (This yarn is turning out to be wonderful):

Knitting a shawl is on my knitting goals list for this year. I want to be able to make some of those really elaborate, lacy shawls but am intimidated by them. This is step one to getting to that goal.

Updates as they become available...

Darkside Cowl: Start to Finish

I had been looking for some sort of short scarf or neck warmer to wear under my winter coat for some time when I stumbled across this pattern on Ravelry. It’s called Darkside Cowl and can be found here. Darkside Cowl You do have to sign up but it’s free and an easy process. Check it out, you won’t be sorry.

I decided to try this out and found some Naturally Caron Country yarn I had in the Peacock color. I wanted to use this because it’s soft, makes a nice fabric and is machine washable and I knew it would feel good on my skin.

Here is the beginning of the project:

It only took about a week or so to complete and that was after having to rip it back because I miscounted the stitches. You do have to be careful to make sure you have a multiple of 8 stitches or your pattern will be off. I added 16 stitches because I wanted it to be pretty loose.

I used a 16 inch circular size 8 needle and that worked just fine.

I am really pleased with how this came out. It’s really soft and warm and much better than fussing with a scarf when I’m taking the bus. I think I’ll be making a few of these they are so nice and were so easy and fun to make.

Finished product:

I think these would also  make awesome gifts and if you used a more masculine color, would be great for a man too.

Technorati Tags: heartsapocolypse,knitting,cowl,darkside,caron

At last, a shawl

I have been wanting to make a shawl forever but was intimidated by the way the patterns start. I wanted to make a triangular shawl and not just a scarf style one.

I've been searching for patterns for ever and have quite a collection, but they all seemed a little too complicated for a first try.

Then I ran across this one and it seemed perfect! It's called the Boneyard and it looks easy but still has the elements that I want to learn.

I had some Caron Spa yarn, a bamboo/acrylic blend in a nice purple so that's what I decided to use.

Here is the beginning:

Caron Spa yarn I'm using: Berry Frappe

Here is the beginning:

One more shot of the start:

I'll keep you all posted... so far it's going well and I'm loving it. It's an easy pattern and I think I can do this!