Bittersweet ...

This year, the Christmas holidays are bittersweet. It will probably be the last Christmas I spend with my daughter for awhile. She is getting ready to leave the nest and move away from here.

Now is when the words I have spoken lo these many years are coming back to haunt me. What words? These:

The job of being a parent is to give your kids a solid foundation so when it is time for them to leave, they do. 

Our kids are not our property, nor are they meant to be just like us. They are here to grow, learn and become what they are meant to be.

That means eventually, they leave, and always before we think they are ready. Like now...

There is a big part of me that is so excited to see her begin her life. She is doing this on her own, with much planning and on her own terms. I am excited to see what she will bring to the table, what directions she chooses and where she lands. She is smart, resourceful, creative and ready to take on the world.

But part of me thinks about the fact that just today at the dentist's office I had to hold her hand while they gave her the Novocain shot. Is she really ready to move away from the comfort of her mama's covering?

Or is it me that is not ready to let her go?

I too am ready to move forward with my life, ready to get out of this popsicle stand. When she goes, there is nothing left for me here. I am beginning to loathe my job. I don't want to be where my ex and his new family is. I do want to go where my heart now is, and that is far from here.

So on this bittersweet holiday, I wish all of you well. I wish all of you new dreams and plans for the new year. I wish for all of you to hold tight to your kids but be ready to let go when it is time, to loosen that hold just enough for those first tentative steps off the edge of the nest. But be ready with welcoming arms if they teeter backwards...

Happy Holidays...